Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
by amandajbruce
Summary: In which Becca Weller thinks about just why she had to break up with Oliver Oken. Set sometime after "Oops, I Meddled Again" in the first season.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, except maybe parts of Becca's personality since we didn't get to see her much.

A/N: I wanted to look at Lilly and Oliver from someone else's perspective, and Becca was the first person who came to mind. This was loosely inspired by a slew of Taylor Swift songs (what, I've been on a country kick lately) including the unreleased "I Heart ?" and "Permanent Marker," the latter being one of my favorite songs ever. You can probably find them somewhere online. Seriously, check it out.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Becca Weller was a nice girl. In fact, she had always been a nice girl, for as long as she could remember. She tried to do what her parents asked of her, and if she complained about it, she always apologized. She always did her homework on time, or at least as much as she could get done between her time tanning and listening to Hannah Montana. She made sure that she always dated nice boys. She was never into the whole rebelling thing anyway. Recently, she had discovered that no matter how nice a boy was though, and no matter how much you liked him, maybe, just maybe, that was not going to be enough.

Becca was not only a nice girl, she was pretty as well. She had long blond hair, something she used special conditioner for, long legs, something inherited from her mother, and perfectly tanned skin, made more perfect by her commitment to tanning three days a week. She had been told countless times that she could be a model one day and she always laughed it off. She was just Becca. Apparently though, other people thought she was prettier than she realized. As much as she wished it could be true, she discovered that even being pretty might not be enough either.

On this particular afternoon, Becca ran up the stairs to her bedroom without saying hello to her parents (maybe they were not even home though), slammed her bedroom door behind her (okay, maybe she just pulled it shut a little harshly, not really banging it into the door jam like her sister did when she was angry), and turned her radio up as loud as she could stand it. (At least the part about the radio was right.) How could he do this to her? She dumped her last boyfriend for him. She thought she could give him another chance, but he did not even understand why she was angry. He never did get it. She had done everything just the way she was supposed to, and it still had not been enough for Oliver Oken.

Oliver Oscar Oken. The Triple O. The Locker Doctor (the thought briefly entered her mind that he might not help her when her locker got stuck after the way she just talked to him). She was pretty sure she even heard him being referred to as Smokin' Oken on occasion. She wondered where that came from. It was probably a joke. She did not really want to give much thought to where the Olley Trolley nick name originated. It was probably best if she did not know. He was not what the other girls referred to as a hottie, but he had a certain charm. He had soft brown hair, deep brown eyes, and a smile a girl could get lost in, even in the eighth grade, and she had. He was sweet, always held doors for her, even after she told him he did not have to keep doing that. He was funny, always cracking jokes if she was having a bad day. She always laughed, even if the people around her thought she was crazy. She was crazy about him. Unfortunately though, he was oblivious to how he really felt.

Becca angrily strode across her room to her cork board full of photographs and mementos. It was crammed with layers upon layers of memories from the last few years. She could not even see the pictures from that family reunion the summer after fifth grade because pictures from junior high had taken over so completely. Her eyes seized upon one photo in particular in the upper left corner from a sixth grade field trip to the local science center. Everyone who went on the field trip was divided into groups of eight and assigned a chaperone. She had been assigned to Oliver's group, or more accurately, to Lilly Truscott's group, since her mother was the chaperone. It always felt like Oliver's group though. Becca remembered that day well. It was the first time she ever thought of Oliver Oken as being cute.

The last exhibit the group visited before lunch focused on organic gardening. The center had just opened up the new section that was geared not just toward explaining scientific processes, but using them to help the planet. Becca recalled that Sarah (the Saint as Lilly called her) knew more about composting than the director of the exhibit did. She had done a science project on it the week before, and was able to answer all of the questions the poor man could not. Becca, having heard it all the previous week like everyone else from her class, was bored in the first five minutes. She discovered that Lilly and Oliver were also ready for that part of the trip to be over. Lilly dared Oliver to put his hand in the compost sample on display when no one else was looking. He was too grossed out to even pretend to try, so Lilly told him he owed her lunch even though it was never a bet, but Becca, who did not even like for the food on her plate to touch, wanted so badly to impress them, that she did it. It was probably one of the only five acts of rebellion she had ever completed in her life, even now, and afterwards, she washed her hands three times with Lilly giggling in the bathroom.

Becca really thought she had shown Oliver she could be just as cool as Lilly, but at the end of the day, when they took a group photo, it was Lilly who had Oliver's arm around her shoulders, not Becca. Lilly, with her hair that was just as blond, and almost as long as Becca's (just because the girl liked to hide it underneath hats did not mean it was not there), stood right up against his side, not even an inch of space between them. At the time though, Becca told herself it was just because Lilly was his best friend, nothing more. Everyone knew they had known each other forever. So what if the popular kids teased them? There was nothing going on. Nothing at all.

Becca pulled the group picture of the eight of them next to the big sign for the science center down from the board and tore it into dozens of tiny pieces before tossing them into her garbage can. That was not a memory she wanted, not anymore.

Even on their first "date" Becca received a huge warning. There might as well have been a giant yellow "DEAD END" sign hanging above Oliver that day.

They had a big math test coming up, so rather than go out on a real date, she accepted an invitation to study at his house before she even broke up with her current boyfriend. When they first went inside, Oliver offered her something to drink and she followed him into the kitchen. Becca briefly wondered about some of the drawings on the Okens' refrigerator. They looked like they were done by a five year old. She knew that Oliver had a little brother, but he was older than that, right? She looked at one piece of white paper carefully. The flower drawn completely in purple was signed "Lilly" in messy handwriting and dated August 1997. It was almost ten years old, but it was still displayed right on the middle of the door.

She should have known then, but she set it aside. Their families were close. That was all.

Oliver's dad was home and he let them study in Oliver's room, with the door closed to keep the younger Oken out. It was something her parents would have never allowed, but Oliver was not the type to take advantage of her. He was too nervous for that. And she was not about to try anything with him on the first "date." Becca found all of his clumsy ramblings adorable, and once he relaxed, she even got a little bit of help with the algebra problems she had never understood. He cracked a few math jokes, and she let herself relax too. Forgetting the picture on the fridge, it was the perfect study date, until his mom came home from work. The teenagers could hear her voice drifting up to them from the living room. It was loud and exasperated, not exactly angry.

"What were you thinking letting him take a girl in his room?"

"They were just studying."

"Teenage boys don't just study in their bedrooms, especially not with the door closed! Don't you remember being a teenage boy?"

At first Becca found the whole thing a little funny. After all, they really were just studying, and she had decided that nothing more than a kiss on the cheek, maybe a small peck on the lips at the end of the evening, was going to happen. But then, she head Oliver's father say something unexpected.

"Lilly is in there all the time with the door closed."

Becca's eyes widened when she heard Mrs. Oken's response to that.

"That's different. She's not Lilly." It was so final.

After that, she stopped listening. She did not think she would want to hear the rest. When Oliver tried to apologize for the way his parents acted, she told him it was no big deal. She did like him, and she knew Lilly was his best friend. Just his friend. She kept reminding herself of that. That night when she went to bed though, the words "she's not Lilly" reverberated through her mind for half the night.

Becca angrily yanked down another picture. She and Oliver were at a table with Lilly and his other friend Miley Stewart. It was taken at lunch just a few days ago with her new camera. Oliver had insisted on breaking it in for her and they had taken tons of pictures over the course of the day. She just printed this one from her computer yesterday morning. She stared at it for a minute, recalling their second "date," which had turned in to another disaster. That time it was not Lilly who got her attention though.

They were supposed to spend the afternoon at the beach, but were interrupted by Miley. Miley in a chicken costume, no less. Becca could not believe it. She was surprised when Oliver told her Miley was in love with him, but she saw it as a reasonable excuse for Miley to investigate her. She was the kind of girl who leapt before she thought to look, completely unlike Becca. Becca was already insecure enough about Oliver being friends with Lilly though, and now she had to worry about the southern brunette as well. It was not fair. When Miley revealed she thought Becca was going to dump Oliver, Becca was thoroughly confused. Oliver was amazing. Why would anyone want to dump him?

When she looked back on the incident a few days later, she realized Miley had been very slow, as in glacial, to agree that she thought of Oliver as more than a friend. Now that she thought about it, it made much more sense that Miley covered for someone else. Miley admitted to taking her PDA from her gym locker, but Lilly was in their gym class as well. It all fit, just like the missing pieces from a giant puzzle.

The picture in her hand shook a little, but whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Becca was unsure. She grabbed a marker from her desk and carefully drew a square around her and Oliver in the center before drawing an X over each of his friends. She considered cutting the other girls out and keeping just the two of them, but she knew it was no good.

After that second date, Becca believed everything would get better, that she was being silly. Oliver's friends did leave them to their own devices, but really, it was all downhill from there.

She took to sitting with Oliver at lunch, and a few times they sat with his friends, hence the picture. Oliver made the strangest sandwiches, always just combining everything on his plate. She could never make herself try anything that messy. The only things he made sure to eat separately, savoring them, were French fries. For whatever reason, he wanted to enjoy them all on their own. Becca often found herself offering her own fries to him, just because it amused her. She noticed though, on days when she sat with her friends, and he sat with his, he would steal the fried potatoes from Lilly's tray. He would try to be sneaky about it, but Becca suspected Lilly knew exactly what was going on. The fries were always the last thing Lilly would eat, like she was saving them for someone else. It was almost a game. When Oliver thought he was clever and had been able to get one without being caught, the corners of Lilly's mouth would quirk, just slightly, almost unnoticeably, like she was suppressing a smile, but Becca saw it. She noticed a lot of things other people thought she would miss.

A few more pictures were ripped from the wall, and a small pile of push pins was growing on the floor where Becca was choosing to ignore them. If she stepped on them later, it would serve her right. There was a picture of her and Oliver eating nachos at Rico's. Another one of him and Miley watching Lilly at a skateboarding competition. Becca had not really wanted to go, but she wanted to spend time with Oliver. There was another of him and Miley with Lilly when she won. Becca was behind the camera again. And another of him with his surf board talking to Lilly. Always Lilly. Becca ripped them up and continued her trip down memory lane.

Whenever they went to the beach, she wanted to tan, and he wanted to surf. If she complained (which she really tried not to do, but five outings to the beach without spending any of it with your boyfriend was a bit much), he would reply that Lilly went surfing with him all the time and Miley never seemed to mind being left alone to tan. She would get angry then because she wanted to be treated like a girlfriend, not just another friend.

When he wanted to see an action movie, she was in the mood for a romantic comedy. If she tried to compromise with an Orlando Bloom movie (cute boy with a love story and he would probably be fighting at some point, most likely with a sword), he would blatantly refuse. She wondered just what he had against the guy. It was like they were never in sync. Actually, he always seemed to eventually give in when it came to movies, as long as they did not feature Orlando Bloom. He probably just dragged Lilly to see the action flicks later though, a thought that had not occurred to her until now.

The final straw came last weekend. Becca wanted to go to a Hannah Montana concert with him, but Oliver already had plans… with Lilly. For the whole week after she asked him, he always seemed to have plans. He kept making excuses when she wanted to hang out. She knew they probably were not excuses per se, but she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend. When she went to the concert with her older sister instead, she was shocked to see Oliver a few rows in front of her, but maybe not quite as shocked to see Lilly right by his side. It was like the other blond girl belonged there, a permanent fixture.

Becca knew she had to end it. Oliver did not understand, but she knew he would one day. Even Lilly did not understand. Becca wanted to go on liking Lilly, she really did, but how could she? Lilly did not even realize what she had, what she had always had. Becca had to admit that she admired the girl for always being herself without any real regard for the consequences. Sure, Lilly was insecure once in a while, but she always bounced back. She was the kind of girl Becca really could be friends with. But, Becca envied her for having that part of Oliver that was always just out of reach. That kept her from inviting Lilly to sleepovers or on shopping trips. It always would.

She decided crossing all of them out was for the best. She found every photograph on her cork board that featured her latest ex-boyfriend or either of his best friends. She scribbled over Lilly's face in each and every picture. In fact, she scribbled with so much effort she ended up ruining the tip of the maker and had to find a new one. She then systematically tore all the photos to shreds.

Then, rifling through her desk, Becca searched for her digital camera. She sank to the floor and felt the tears gathering in her eyes. Becca did not want to be sad though; she wanted to be angry. She scrolled through her saved photographs and deleted every picture taken that reminded her of Oliver. That turned out to be over half of the pictures saved, especially since he was either in them or had taken most of them.

Once done, Becca went in to her bathroom, washed her face, and willed herself to move on with her life. She should have seen it coming anyway. Oliver had never looked at her the way he looked at Lilly. She was sure he would keep dating, but the other girls were never going to work out. He just could not see it, not yet. At the age of eleven she knew the truth, but at fourteen, she let herself get hurt. She would find someone else. After all, Becca Weller had always been a nice girl, the kind you could bring home to mom, her destruction of photographs not withstanding.


End file.
